Have you ever felt overwhelmed by, well… Life?
It’s easy to feel confused out there. Life takes forever to figure out; we compare ourselves to the people on T.V. and feel like shit; there are so many questions and few answers.
With so many problems and issues, it’s natural to worry and feel like you’re fucking up. But trust me when I say you’re doing great – or, at least, you can choose to do great.
You don’t need to change jobs or move away. You don’t need to “fake it ‘till you make it.” You just need to make the simple, life-transforming choice to be happy and kick ass.
Here’s how.
Negativity – A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
As a beginner pick-up artist, I screwed up all the time. I worked very hard but the ladies just weren’t digging me. Eventually I got frustrated and made my instructor – Andy – watch me chat girls up for feedback.
Instead of giving me the blow-by-blow critique I expected, he just said: “you’re doing great.”
I disagreed. In my mind, I was awkward and unattractive; he had to be wrong. I started beating myself up over how bad I was – and the more I stressed, the worse I got around girls.
I now understand that I wasn’t unattractive – I was just an idiot. I spent so much time obsessing about being awkward that it messed with my head – and my game. I’d created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Most people are the same – they get negative ideas and focus on them until they become real. “I could never stay on that diet”; “a girl that cute can do better than me”; “I can’t quit – I’m lucky to have a job in this economy.”
Repeat a thought like that often enough and it materializes. You’ve probably had recurring thoughts like that yourself. It’s like Banana Yoshimoto wrote:
People aren’t overcome by situations or outside forces. Defeat invades from within.
You don’t fail a diet when you slip up and have a muffin; you fail when you let that muffin destroy your confidence and determination (as anyone who’s dieted will tell you).
So if you’re in some shit right now – lonely, broke, overweight, whatever – pause. Understand that most of the negativity is in your head. Raise your expectations and the world will change to meet them.
Why Being Positive Rocks
“When you want something, the entire world conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paulo Coelho
Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of my favorite success stories. An immigrant who came to the USA with nothing, he’s succeeded at everything: business, acting, politics and bodybuilding.
When asked about his first Mr. Universe title, Arnold said he’d visualized winning so many times that doing it in real life was natural. Amazing, right?
That’s the power of positive thinking. It’s worked for countless successful people and is what most modern self-help is based on. I would’ve laughed if someone told me 2 years ago, but life really does deliver what you expect from it.
Feel like a person who’s doing great and you will do great.
Just to be clear, I’m not asking you to fake it ‘til you make it. Life’s not all roses and ponies – it can be good, it can be bad and it can be straight up shitty. Acknowledging that is only fair.
But while you can’t control life’s circumstances, you can control your own actions. Let’s say a girl at the bar rejects you: what happens next will depend on your attitude.
If you view yourself as a successful person, you’ll shrug the rejection off. If you view yourself as a loser, you’ll feel like shit for ages and let the experience destroy your self-esteem.
That’s why it’s so important to truly believe you’re doing great. Positive thinking leads to positive results; negative thinking leads to negative results. It’s ultimately your choice, but I know I want positive results!
Staying Positive Effortlessly
You’re probably thinking that my viewpoint is great in theory but hard to apply. That’s true – but only if you decide to be positive through brute force. Struggling to remain upbeat is a recipe for disaster.
See, you can do all the exercises you want, but positive change is temporary unless you honestly believe you’re doing great. If you’re a loser in your mind, your subconscious will work to turn you into one – over and over and over again.
What you should do, instead, is understand why you’re already awesome.
You’re probably good at something – drawing; writing; talking to people; your job. I’ve never met a person who didn’t have a talent – everyone’s got something. Embrace your strengths and reward yourself for them with positive emotions.
If you think you’re good at absolutely nothing – that’s fine too. You’ve read this post and learned something new; in other words, you’ve already achieved something today. Keep it up and you’ll do amazing.
Always remember that you’re affected by a bunch of things at any given time – some great, some shit and some alright. It’s up to you what you filter out and what you let in.
But if you follow this post, embrace your awesomeness and think positively – you’ll be amazed at how great life becomes.
