Comments on: Heartbreak Is A Choice. Here’s How Not To Make It. https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/ A Guide to Everything a Man Should Know Wed, 02 May 2012 13:59:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Nick https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/#comment-399 Nick Sun, 08 Apr 2012 22:35:05 +0000 https://themanupblog.com/?p=696#comment-399 It's amazing how much those experiences with women can make us evaluate ourselves. Good to hear you took the positive path as well :) Haha, thanks man. She's a professional harpist and it is most definitely sexy. I've always been a sucker for creative women. It’s amazing how much those experiences with women can make us evaluate ourselves. Good to hear you took the positive path as well :)

Haha, thanks man. She’s a professional harpist and it is most definitely sexy. I’ve always been a sucker for creative women.

]]> By: George P.H. https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/#comment-382 George P.H. Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:01:25 +0000 https://themanupblog.com/?p=696#comment-382 Again - it's hard to write responses when people are dropping knowledge like this in their comments! What you're saying makes me think of the first time I fell in love. I never got the girl, but she's the whole reason I am who I am today. Introspection is something I value highly and not getting her made me look within myself for the first time. Like you, I first descended into the darkness, but then I grew. <strong>Fast</strong>. I'm really happy you found an amazing woman, by the way. I saw you mentioning a girlfriend who plays the harp on twitter once; if that's her, I envy you. I always thought that women who can play musical instruments are incredibly sexy ;). Again – it’s hard to write responses when people are dropping knowledge like this in their comments!

What you’re saying makes me think of the first time I fell in love. I never got the girl, but she’s the whole reason I am who I am today. Introspection is something I value highly and not getting her made me look within myself for the first time. Like you, I first descended into the darkness, but then I grew. Fast.

I’m really happy you found an amazing woman, by the way. I saw you mentioning a girlfriend who plays the harp on twitter once; if that’s her, I envy you. I always thought that women who can play musical instruments are incredibly sexy ;) .

]]> By: George P.H. https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/#comment-381 George P.H. Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:49:39 +0000 https://themanupblog.com/?p=696#comment-381 When I read your reply, my first thought was - <strong>damn, he's 100% right</strong>. It's a little daunting to reply to comments as insightful as yours and Nick's but I'll do my best :). It's easy for me to sit here and write about "refusing" to be depressed without someone. But to a regular person in the middle of a horrible break-up with someone they fully depended on, learning to hope again is so hard. Moving past lost attachments, daring to dream when the odds are against you, recognizing and defeating negative thinking patterns... To be honest, there's so much I want to say about hope - I feel it deserves its own article. Thank you for giving me the idea for what I think will be a great post, Mike :) When I read your reply, my first thought was – damn, he’s 100% right. It’s a little daunting to reply to comments as insightful as yours and Nick’s but I’ll do my best :) .

It’s easy for me to sit here and write about “refusing” to be depressed without someone. But to a regular person in the middle of a horrible break-up with someone they fully depended on, learning to hope again is so hard.

Moving past lost attachments, daring to dream when the odds are against you, recognizing and defeating negative thinking patterns… To be honest, there’s so much I want to say about hope – I feel it deserves its own article.

Thank you for giving me the idea for what I think will be a great post, Mike :)

]]> By: Nick https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/#comment-377 Nick Sat, 31 Mar 2012 20:35:20 +0000 https://themanupblog.com/?p=696#comment-377 Brilliant post George. I remember losing the first girl I cared about and the months of depression that followed. She was my whole world at the time and I felt nothing would ever be good again. As you said, I needed her in my life to be happy or so I thought. Eventually one day I admitted to myself that she was not coming back. I could either keep descending into darkness or do something about it. That decision lead me to the most introspective growth period of my life. It helped me realize much of my faults and what I needed to improve on. If it wasn't for that breakup, I might not be the man I am today. I wouldn't be as driven, open-minded, or be able to sustain healthy and successful relationships. And I definitely wouldn't be coaching others as I am now. Even in your darkest hours, try to look at the positive. The old makes way for new and better things, one day at a time. I still remember the incredible experiences I had with her and that's something I will cherish forever. But, I'm grateful it ended the way it did -- I became a stronger man and it lead me to find an amazing woman. Brilliant post George. I remember losing the first girl I cared about and the months of depression that followed. She was my whole world at the time and I felt nothing would ever be good again. As you said, I needed her in my life to be happy or so I thought.

Eventually one day I admitted to myself that she was not coming back. I could either keep descending into darkness or do something about it. That decision lead me to the most introspective growth period of my life. It helped me realize much of my faults and what I needed to improve on.

If it wasn’t for that breakup, I might not be the man I am today. I wouldn’t be as driven, open-minded, or be able to sustain healthy and successful relationships. And I definitely wouldn’t be coaching others as I am now.

Even in your darkest hours, try to look at the positive. The old makes way for new and better things, one day at a time. I still remember the incredible experiences I had with her and that’s something I will cherish forever. But, I’m grateful it ended the way it did — I became a stronger man and it lead me to find an amazing woman.

]]> By: Mike https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/#comment-376 Mike Sat, 31 Mar 2012 19:34:34 +0000 https://themanupblog.com/?p=696#comment-376 Long time lurker of your website, first time poster... I, like many others, can definitely relate to this. Losing an attachment with a girlfriend is extremely difficult especially if she is one of the only very close attachments you have. You might be in an abusive relationship, a relationship void of compromise, or even a "perfect" relationship. At the end of the day, almost all romantic relationships develop into attachments. That why after ANY breakup, it's easy to get your mind stuck in a negative pattern. Among the reasons behind this terrible feeling is the loss of hope (which you mentioned). I've learned that hope isn't just a word, nor is it a simple feeling. Hope is a sophisticated mentality. It's the proactive measures that you take to ensure your mind that there will be a great deal of future happiness. You said the same thing, but in a different way. You said, "Refuse to let yourself think you can’t be happy without another person." How do you refuse yourself to think this? When you're stuck in a pattern of negativity, the way you get hope is where things get really interesting. Long time lurker of your website, first time poster… I, like many others, can definitely relate to this. Losing an attachment with a girlfriend is extremely difficult especially if she is one of the only very close attachments you have. You might be in an abusive relationship, a relationship void of compromise, or even a “perfect” relationship. At the end of the day, almost all romantic relationships develop into attachments. That why after ANY breakup, it’s easy to get your mind stuck in a negative pattern. Among the reasons behind this terrible feeling is the loss of hope (which you mentioned). I’ve learned that hope isn’t just a word, nor is it a simple feeling. Hope is a sophisticated mentality. It’s the proactive measures that you take to ensure your mind that there will be a great deal of future happiness. You said the same thing, but in a different way. You said, “Refuse to let yourself think you can’t be happy without another person.” How do you refuse yourself to think this? When you’re stuck in a pattern of negativity, the way you get hope is where things get really interesting.

]]> By: JBarros https://themanupblog.com/heartbreak-is-a-choice-heres-how-not-to-make-it/#comment-372 JBarros Fri, 30 Mar 2012 15:45:52 +0000 https://themanupblog.com/?p=696#comment-372 Yes I know what you mean. Something that I did after this happening to me was to start focusing more on me instead on the other person. Sure it doesn't mean I don't love the other person but honestly I love myself more. Because being too dependent on someone blinds you and unfortunately leads you to situations like that other guy you mention "I saw a guy drive across half of England to try and win his cheating girlfriend back." Also another thing that I would like to mention is even when you are in a relationship to keep in touch and going out with your friends. Because if s**t happens you always have someone help you out and to go out with. I guess the worse thing to do is to only focus on a relationship and forget about the rest. Anyway thanks for your post it was pretty useful. Yes I know what you mean. Something that I did after this happening to me was to start focusing more on me instead on the other person. Sure it doesn’t mean I don’t love the other person but honestly I love myself more. Because being too dependent on someone blinds you and unfortunately leads you to situations like that other guy you mention “I saw a guy drive across half of England to try and win his cheating girlfriend back.”

Also another thing that I would like to mention is even when you are in a relationship to keep in touch and going out with your friends. Because if s**t happens you always have someone help you out and to go out with.

I guess the worse thing to do is to only focus on a relationship and forget about the rest.

Anyway thanks for your post it was pretty useful.

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