The Fast Way out of the Friend Zone

by George P.H. on September 14, 2011

In a previous post, I outlined the Simple Way to get out of The Friend Zone. It’s very effective and has but one drawback: it takes time. But if you’re really hurtin’, you don’t have that kinda time. Enter The Fast Way (tada!).

To understand how it works, let’s discuss the fundamentals of being in The Zone.

The Friend Zone

In attraction theory terms, being in The Zone means you have too much comfort but very little attraction built with a girl. You’re a shoulder to cry on; “like a brother”; basically a girlfriend. What you aren’t is a man she wants to be with intimately.

In the Simple Way, the goal was to build up attraction slowly. This time, you’ll break comfort and create attraction with a sharp emotional spike. There are 3 steps to the whole thing:

Step 1 – Creating a Connection

Step 2 – Disappear (the emotional downswing)

Step 3 – Reappear Like a Boss (the emotional upswing)

Step 1 – Create a Connection

Before you do anything else, you have to create an emotional bond with Her. She may not be attracted to you sexually, but must value you as a friend! Otherwise, none of this will work.

So spend some quality time together and become important to her. Don’t worry about trying to convert your relationship into an intimate one; focus on being friends.

It helps to hang out frequently during this period. If she’s used to seeing you, the emotional downswing (Step 2) will have a bigger impact. Be careful, though: don’t impose yourself.

The best thing you can do is meet often and keep interactions to 90 minutes or less. That way, your meetings won’t get stale. The same applies to talking on the phone: keep conversations short and avoid texting.

Once you feel that she values you – initiates contact herself, suggests spending time together, is enjoying your company – proceed to Step 2.

Step 2 – Disappear

Now, disappear from your target’s life. This is the emotional downswing you need to break the pattern of comfort: She has to miss you and experience some negative emotions while you’re gone.

A few weeks of absence are usually enough. It’s absolutely crucial that the target wants you back in her life; the more time you spent on Step 1, the easier your life will be now.

The best thing to do is disappear completely, but calibration – adapting your behavior to the situation – is key. Don’t go overboard: if She is really angry with you, explain yourself (succinctly). A brief explanation, e.g. “I’m sorry; I can’t meet up right now, I promise to explain everything soon” is enough.

Be warned: it’s challenging to cut someone you care about so much out of your life. If you can, go on vacation without telling anyone: it makes things easier.

If that’s not possible, just avoid going to the places where you usually see Her. Distract yourself by any means necessary. There’s no way around Step 2: you must man up and do it.

You’ll know when it’s time to move on to Step 3. You’ll be receiving more calls, text messages and e-mails from Her than usual. The more attention you’re getting, the better: make sure you’re being missed.

Step 3 – Reappear Like a Boss

After all the negative emotions She experienced while you were gone, it’s time to create an emotional upswing by doing something unexpected and amazing. The resulting emotional surge will create an opportunity to break out of the Friend Zone and enter a romantic relationship.

The best thing you can do is take her on an amazing date date. This is really important: the more unique and special it is, the better. You can find 6 of my favorite romantic gestures in this post. Combine as many of them as you want into one date: do your best to sweep her off her feet.

Once you’re done impressing her, she’ll be really excited; especially if she was worried about losing you (as a friend) minutes ago. This is your chance: tell her you like her “in that way” or just go in for a kiss, depending on the situation.

Final Words

The Fast Way to get out of the Friend Zone is brutally effective. If you can man up and do it, it works. As an added bonus, you can use it on exes you want to get back. Good luck and may the force be with you!

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