Picture this.
You meet the perfect girl. She’s fun, you have a lot in common and she takes your breath away every time she walks in the room. You know you’d be great together, but you don’t know if she likes you – and don’t want to screw things up by making a move at the wrong time.
So you try to win her over by being super-nice; buying her stuff; trying to show yourself from the best possible angle at all times. After all, that’s what women want - right?
Then she goes and breaks your heart by dating some asshole.
If you want to stop this scenario from playing itself out in your life, read this article. Find out how to be what women want and start getting those special girls!
How I “Got” It
Approaching women was hard work when I just started out. After a lifetime of never talking to strangers, I was suddenly meeting scores of girls every week. It was a great experience – but also very tiring.
Some days I’d come home and collapse on the couch like a sack of potatoes, exhausted. In those moments I didn’t want to flirt, think up fun dates or even talk.
What I really wanted was for any of the girls I’d met that day to call and say something like: “I know we just met, but can I come over and cook for you? I’ll grab a movie and some massage oil on my way over. See you in 20!”
Simply put, I wanted to get rescued. I was tired and wished someone could come and make everything better for me.
While that’s a super-unmanly way to feel, that mental state is how I figured out what women really want in men.
What Do You and Starbucks Coffee Have In Common?
Why do you think people go to Starbucks?
It’s not for the extravagantly priced coffee. It’s easy to find better stuff for the same price and plenty of people own coffee machines in 2012.
No, people don’t go to Starbucks for the drinks – they go there for the experience. The nice music; the fun beverages; the rainbow sprinkles; the whipped cream.
So when someone buys a coffee at Starbucks, they’re not buying a coffee – they’re buying a good time. Which is, incidentally, what women want from you.
Remember that Hitch quote? “No woman wakes up saying “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today!”?
I love that quote because it’s absolutely true. But notice how the word man isn’t even in that sentence! Yes, women want to get swept off their feet, but the guy doing the sweeping is secondary!
Remember: life is hard. We’ve all got stuff to do and problems to handle. Everyone wants to have a good time; to get distracted from the burdens of everyday life.
When you’re getting to know a woman, she doesn’t know you. All she knows is the experience you’ve given her over your short time together. And if that experience is great, she’ll want more of it.
That’s why it doesn’t matter how much money you’ve got in your bank account. It doesn’t matter that you have problems and issues of your own. It doesn’t matter if you’re ugly, fat, insecure, anxious, worried or lonely – or none of those things.
You don’t matter just like the coffee at Starbucks doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is the experience - or, more specifically, how you can make a woman feel.
Being A Great Experience
The worst kind of guy makes women feel nothing at all. Most men belong to this category. They’re always focused on trying to please; trying not to offend. They’re pure vanilla – and while nobody hates vanilla, nobody’s crazy about it either.
Share yourself; be yourself. Don’t be a vanilla guy! Do what you want, say what you think, don’t be afraid to displease women. It’s better to be hated by some and loved by the others than ignored by everyone.
Here are some other ways to make yourself a better experience:
- Suggest places to go and things to do – don’t ask her what she wants to do all the time. She has the right to say no but you have the right to make an offer.
- Be yourself and be expressive. She can’t experience you if you’re hiding your real self in a misguided effort to please her!
- Don’t be afraid to voice your displeasure (politely). If she’s late, rude, etc, call her out on it. She wants to experience the whole you, not a fake nice-guy façade.
- Put effort into your dates and gifts. Be romantic. Buy her flowers, take her somewhere new, go dancing together – anything but the same old dinner at the place you always go to.
- Understand you can’t get everyone to like you. If you try, you’ll be the boring guy nobody cares about. Show your personality – sure, some girls will hate you, but many will like you.
- Stop trying to impress and start having fun. Our emotional and mental states are contagious: if you’re feeling tense, she’ll feel tense. But if you let go and start enjoying yourself without caring what she thinks, she’ll start to have fun.
- Be different. Even the things we love get old if we do them constantly. Change up the emotions you give her and she’ll never get tired of you.
Women want to be rescued from the dreariness of everyday life; they want men who make them feel something; they want to have a good time. (Basically they’re just like us. Shocking!)
It doesn’t matter that you’re nervous. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the best job, car or flat. All that matters is being able to make a woman feel great. Become a fantastic experience, personified – and you’ll always be wanted.
Ever done something that knocked a girl off her feet? Ladies – any memorable experiences with men who could/couldn’t make you feel all warm and tingly inside? Share your thoughts and stories below – and use the share buttons if you liked this post!

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
“Put effort into your dates and gifts. Be romantic. Buy her flowers, take her somewhere new, go dancing together – anything but the same old dinner at the place you always go to.”
My policy on the matter is to never do any date activity or meal twice, until she explicitly requests it more than once over the course of several dates. Even then, I’m really cautious about letting anything become ‘routine.’ I’ve found the women in my life are happiest and most into me when we’re keeping things fun, fresh and exciting every single date.
I like that; dating would be way better for women if more guys were like you. I guess that’s why you run a site called date-masters!
Is it really about movies?
Blind date tonight. Joined a girlfriend & her husband at their house . The husband set me up with a coworker. Kinda knew what to expect from his job – messed up teeth.
I was right. Still had a pleasant time, because “guests” who accept an invite are supposed to make a tacit promise to be pleasant company. Contrary to what many today believe, that “guest” means I-get-to-be-treated-like-a-spoiled-celebrity.
Came home before midnight to respond to “how 2 be what she wants”.
1. There has to be physical attraction, or forget it. And men, you KNOW this holds true for you too. Lucky for all of us that beauty is in the eye of the beholder – meaning you and I are somebody’s type!
2. Past that, there has to be a good meeting of the minds. And an EXTREMELY good meeting of the minds makes anyone more beautiful in the beholder’s eyes.
3. The idea of someone coming over, cooking, and treating me to physical relaxation – I’m right there wit ya. Never thought of it as being rescued.
4. I don’t require elaborate plans. Just do things that let me know you want to spend time with me. Like the guy who would come to my place on Sundays, take me to the supermarket with him where he’d buy the food that HE would cook for dinner at my home. Very comfy times. Or the guy who’d do clams and a fish fry for me on Fridays at his home. Or the guy who surprised me with a hot tub date – once he convinced me it was not a group sex orgy, I was OK with it.
But after tonite, I am wondering…..is it all about movies?
Tonite’s guy wasn’t a dummy, he was a life-taught-me-hard-lessons type. Then he brought up movies. And they DVR’d a movie all 3 of them thought was good with a capital g. It was horrible with a capital h. Dull and convoluted at the same time. Thin plotlines. Disjointed. Low-budget in a poorly executed way. And this guy was interested in taking me out to watch more of these types of movies!
No way.
And I thought about my one really good boyfriend from way back. We loved the same kind of movies AND I liked the ones he introduced to me. Come to think of it, since him, I’ve never shared the same movie interest with any man.
And I thought of guys I dated for more than a minute in the past who had horrible taste in movies. Those relationships never took firm root.
So… is taste in movies the way for us to find that dream match? Or maybe I’m just a snob about movies?
It’s awesome when you have the same taste in movies and music as someone else, but it’s not a huge thing because everyone’s so different nowadays! I know I’m probably a horrible movie date, I like horror movies and really deep stuff
.