How Long Should You Wait Before Calling Her?

by George P.H. on July 18, 2012

So you met a great girl, had a great conversation and now have her number. How long should you wait before calling: 2 days, 3 days, a week? Move too quickly and you look desperate; wait too long and she might forget who you are.

The perfect time to call is after she wants to hear from you but before she loses interest; she should be waiting for your caller ID to show up. If you can manage this, phone numbers will almost always turn into dates.

Here are the general guidelines – and a secret move - that will ensure you always call right on time.

What The First Call Is About

Before we talk about timing, let’s talk about the first phone call. What is its purpose? To understand that, you have to remember one thing: phone numbers mean very little.

Guys go giddy when they get a pretty girl’s number, but it actually means very little. You can still get rejected, ignored or stood up after getting it. A woman can give her number to many guys; it costs her nothing and means nothing.

What you want to do is turn those digits into dates. This will give you the opportunity to meet the girl you like and show her how attractive you really are.

What’s the best way to do this? Well, if you got the number, she’s already given you a chance to win her over. But even if she likes you, you’re still a guy she barely knows; a potential threat. As far as she knows you could be crazy, creepy or crazy creepy – and it’s your job to prove otherwise!

That’s why the first call isn’t about generating unstoppable attraction, making her fall in love or any of the weird stuff I see mentioned in some products’ marketing materials. That first conversation is all about showing you’re cool and normal.

So How Long Should You Wait?

We’ve all heard of the “3-day rule,” where you wait 3 days before calling so you don’t come across as desperate. There’s also a 2-day rule, 1-week rule,  are silly because the wait is always situational.

Imagine you meet a girl, hit it off immediately and spend 40 minutes chatting and flirting. You talk about going to your place later, but her mom calls and she has to leave. Waiting 3 days to call her would be crazy since you’re both clearly interested.

Now imagine meeting another girl who you have a short but memorable conversation with. The attraction is there but you can’t tell how much she likes you; in this case, you can wait a couple of days to pique her interest before calling.

Over time, you’ll start to understand when the right time to call is yourself – but for now, here’s a helpful list:

0-1 Days:

  • You got her number directly and quickly, e.g. you were in a rush and your line was “You’re cute but I really have to run. Leave me your number?”
  • You’re clearly very interested in each other.

2-3 Days:

  • There’s a little attraction, but not much. You don’t want to display low value – and make her even less attracted – by being overeager.
  • You’re interested in each other, but you want to pace the relationship.
  • You spent a lot of time together when you met (over 60 minutes); in this case, the follow-up call isn’t as important because you’ve practically been on a date already.

4-7 Days:

  • You’re being indirect (hiding your sexual interest) and don’t want to be too obvious.

7+ Days:

  • You can call girls you met ages ago; I’ve been on dates with girls months and years (!!!) after getting their numbers. However, there’s no good reason to wait longer than a week!

The Secret To Always Calling On Time

Here’s a little confession: I never think about “when to call” a girl*. I simply call when I want to. I usually don’t call before 10 A.M. or after 11 P.M., but everything else is fair game.

* – I advise you to do the same; don’t feel intimidated by beautiful women to the point where you’re thinking, “I wonder if this is a convenient time for her?”

Now, when I’m calling, I don’t know whether the girl I’m calling is eating her favorite meal, watching a movie or in a hurry to leave the house. So I ask a very sneaky question after introducing myself:

Is this a good time to talk? 

If she says “Yes,” we talk. If she says “No,” I let her give me the reason and ask when I should call her back.

Many guys feel you should “be alpha” and avoid questions like these. But the great thing is, you’re not giving away any power here – you’re just being polite.

No matter how many days you end up waiting before calling back, this question will always help you come across as a cool, well-mannered guy and set up better phone conversations.

 

Ultimately, knowing when to call a girl comes down to experience more than anything else. Even then, nothing is promised – women who loved you when giving their number can be 100% cold on the phone.

As long as you use the tips in the post, it’s very hard to go wrong; just remember to talk like a normal human being and numbers will convert into dates automatically.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

J. Delancy July 19, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Another good post. If a man can be sensitive to the situation of the first meeting, he can take himself out of “The Game” mode and just call when the moment is right.
Or, work on being the type of man that a woman needs to have in her life. Can anyone imagine a woman acting flaky if Brad Pitt was on the line? Be a man, with places to go and things to do and invite her into your life, she’ll call you.

All The Best

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George P.H. July 20, 2012 at 8:32 am

Oh man, we are so on the same page. Whenever friends complain about girls being flaky, “busy”, whatever, I say the exact same thing – “would she still be busy if you were Jude Law?” (I guess I’m not being very hip by using Jude Law as an example).

I also love that you used the word “need.” Realizing that women need good men just as much as we need them changed everything for me. I wish more men would think like you instead of buying into the pop-culture stereotype of “men need women, women don’t need men.”

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Lisa Peña July 20, 2012 at 4:40 am

Hey George P.H.,

Just wondering if you got my query about my reviewing your blog?

Thanks!
Lisa Peña

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George P.H. July 20, 2012 at 8:20 am

Hey, Lisa! I just replied to it; just check your inbox :) .

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Lisa Peña July 20, 2012 at 8:13 pm

lol, Thanks, George P.H.! The eagles have landed. In both boxes. :)
I’ll talk to you soon!

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debbie January 30, 2013 at 4:26 am

so i am a super busy doctor working away at my desk and this hot guy approaches me(happens to work at the hospital as well) and talks to me for a while, smiling, acting sincere and silly at the same time. I ask him his age and realize hes younger than me,so i jokingly tell him he is way too young but i can set him up with some friends of mine:) lol anyhow by the end of the conversation i give him my email address and my phone #, (which for the record i never do to anyone bc usually im not interested) and i tell him “just email me”. I was super busy so i went back to work as did he. So i assumed that he would be a normal guy and email me or call me, WRONGO, no phone call no emails? its been a few days, im not used to this type of response from men, not gonna toot my own horn but typically dudes call me same night, im upset because for some crazy reason I actually liked this guy , i guess im not good at this little game anymore:(( sad face

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