So you met a great girl, had a great conversation and now have her number. How long should you wait before calling: 2 days, 3 days, a week? Move too quickly and you look desperate; wait too long and she might forget who you are.
The perfect time to call is after she wants to hear from you but before she loses interest; she should be waiting for your caller ID to show up. If you can manage this, phone numbers will almost always turn into dates.
Here are the general guidelines – and a secret move - that will ensure you always call right on time.
What The First Call Is About
Before we talk about timing, let’s talk about the first phone call. What is its purpose? To understand that, you have to remember one thing: phone numbers mean very little.
Guys go giddy when they get a pretty girl’s number, but it actually means very little. You can still get rejected, ignored or stood up after getting it. A woman can give her number to many guys; it costs her nothing and means nothing.
What you want to do is turn those digits into dates. This will give you the opportunity to meet the girl you like and show her how attractive you really are.
What’s the best way to do this? Well, if you got the number, she’s already given you a chance to win her over. But even if she likes you, you’re still a guy she barely knows; a potential threat. As far as she knows you could be crazy, creepy or crazy creepy – and it’s your job to prove otherwise!
That’s why the first call isn’t about generating unstoppable attraction, making her fall in love or any of the weird stuff I see mentioned in some products’ marketing materials. That first conversation is all about showing you’re cool and normal.
So How Long Should You Wait?
We’ve all heard of the “3-day rule,” where you wait 3 days before calling so you don’t come across as desperate. There’s also a 2-day rule, 1-week rule, are silly because the wait is always situational.
Imagine you meet a girl, hit it off immediately and spend 40 minutes chatting and flirting. You talk about going to your place later, but her mom calls and she has to leave. Waiting 3 days to call her would be crazy since you’re both clearly interested.
Now imagine meeting another girl who you have a short but memorable conversation with. The attraction is there but you can’t tell how much she likes you; in this case, you can wait a couple of days to pique her interest before calling.
Over time, you’ll start to understand when the right time to call is yourself – but for now, here’s a helpful list:
- You got her number directly and quickly, e.g. you were in a rush and your line was “You’re cute but I really have to run. Leave me your number?”
- You’re clearly very interested in each other.
- There’s a little attraction, but not much. You don’t want to display low value – and make her even less attracted – by being overeager.
- You’re interested in each other, but you want to pace the relationship.
- You spent a lot of time together when you met (over 60 minutes); in this case, the follow-up call isn’t as important because you’ve practically been on a date already.
- You’re being indirect (hiding your sexual interest) and don’t want to be too obvious.
- You can call girls you met ages ago; I’ve been on dates with girls months and years (!!!) after getting their numbers. However, there’s no good reason to wait longer than a week!
The Secret To Always Calling On Time
Here’s a little confession: I never think about “when to call” a girl*. I simply call when I want to. I usually don’t call before 10 A.M. or after 11 P.M., but everything else is fair game.
* – I advise you to do the same; don’t feel intimidated by beautiful women to the point where you’re thinking, “I wonder if this is a convenient time for her?”
Now, when I’m calling, I don’t know whether the girl I’m calling is eating her favorite meal, watching a movie or in a hurry to leave the house. So I ask a very sneaky question after introducing myself:
Is this a good time to talk?
If she says “Yes,” we talk. If she says “No,” I let her give me the reason and ask when I should call her back.
Many guys feel you should “be alpha” and avoid questions like these. But the great thing is, you’re not giving away any power here – you’re just being polite.
No matter how many days you end up waiting before calling back, this question will always help you come across as a cool, well-mannered guy and set up better phone conversations.
Ultimately, knowing when to call a girl comes down to experience more than anything else. Even then, nothing is promised – women who loved you when giving their number can be 100% cold on the phone.
As long as you use the tips in the post, it’s very hard to go wrong; just remember to talk like a normal human being and numbers will convert into dates automatically.