6 Ways To Get Respect (As A Man)

by George P.H. on June 25, 2012

Hard to get, easy to lose and impossible to recover: respect is one of the most important things in a man’s life.

When you have it, girls compete for the right to spend time with you – on your terms. There’s never any nagging, lying or mind-games because women treat the few men worthy of respect like kings.

Respect is also a form of social currency. Have it, and people will help you get what you want out of life; everyone will treat you well. Don’t have it and people will take every opportunity to make your life more difficult.

So let’s go: here are 6 ways to get respect as a man!

1.             Keep Your Word

“All I have in this world is my balls and my word” – Tony Montana (Scarface)

There is something incredibly repulsive about a man who breaks promises and fails commitments. It’s cowardly; it’s weak; it’s just unmanly.

If you want to be respected – especially by other guys – be a man of your word. Following through on your promises, no matter how hard that can be, is the foundation of being respected as a man.

2.             Be Yourself

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” -Lao Tzu

Some men think they need to hide their real thoughts to be pleasant. They agree with whatever’s being said and say what other people want to hear. Nice and polite, right?

Wrong.

People-pleasers may as well come out and say: “Your approval is more important than my opinion. I have no respect for myself, and neither should you.” They may be pleasant - like lukewarm water – but they are neither liked nor respected.

A real man is strong and self-sufficient; he doesn’t care what others think. He likes himself for who he is – and why wouldn’t he? Be yourself: most people will love you, a few will hate you, but everyone will respect you.

3.             Stop Caring

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” – Margaret Thatcher

Think of a man who’s well-respected by everyone. How do you think he spends his days? Thinking about respect, demanding it from others, bragging about it – or living his life?

You don’t get respect by seeking or claiming it. You earn it by being a real man; the kind of man who doesn’t care about what anyone thinks.

4.             Respect Yourself

“Only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you” – Fyodor Dostoevsky

In point 3, I wrote you shouldn’t care about being respected by others. You should, however, care about respecting yourself.

Self-respect doesn’t mean placing yourself above others. It simply means having rules for what you will and will not accept in life – and enforcing them. As a man, you should always be doing this.

When people overstep your boundaries, there’s no need to get upset or violently confront them. Just respect yourself enough to address things you don’t like – or walk away from negative people and situations.

5.             Be Successful

“People respect success. They respect big. They don’t even have to like [what you do]… If you’re big enough, people are drawn to you.” – Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter

On a basic level, we respect successful people – and this is especially true for guys. A man with no direction in life will only win contempt from those around him.

You don’t need to be a millionaire or rockstar, but you must do something worthwhile with your life. Be great at your hobby; live passionately; find a purpose for yourself. No matter what it is, find a way to be successful at something.

6.             Have Respect For Everyone

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is a garbage man or the president of a university.” – Albert Einstein

How do most people act? They treat those above them on the social ladder well and those “below” them like shit. This is because they’re looking to take value and only appreciate those who can give it.

A real man, however, doesn’t seek value from others. He doesn’t treat people well because he wants something from them – he does it because he’s a good person.

Treat everyone as a fellow human being, not someone you can later use to your benefit. Judge people for who they are – not what they can do for you. Respect is won by being fair, not kissing ass.

 

 

 

Ultimately, getting respect comes from having it for yourself and other people. Treat others well; judge people for their achievements (and not what they can give you); never hesitate to defend your interests. Respect will become a natural side-effect of your lifestyle.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Dan June 26, 2012 at 4:10 am

Excellent post, Thanks!

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George P.H. June 26, 2012 at 5:39 am

Thank you for reading, Dan!

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Boris Gokhman June 26, 2012 at 8:20 am

Really inspiring article George!
I will look at my behavior from time to time too see if It answers this criteria.

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George P.H. June 27, 2012 at 8:35 am

To hear this from one of the people that inspires me to push myself means a lot; thank you.

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J. Delancy June 26, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Damned right on each and everyone. It saddens me to see how many men do not have any of the above-mentioned qualities.

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George P.H. June 27, 2012 at 8:33 am

Agreed! But I think that respecting other people brings out the best in them; if we can all strive to do that, the qualities will spread like a really awesome disease :) .

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Laura June 27, 2012 at 2:37 pm

G you know I like your stuff but this is one of the first posts, where I think you went a bit far. You shouldn’t have compared men to women and show women as lying, cheating and not keeping their word people, who can get respect for being pretty.

NOBODY gets respect for being pretty. You get envied, you get admired, but you DON’T get respect.

Good points here bro but it’s not always about comparing men to women.

Keep up the good work and keep it clean.

peace out.

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George P.H. June 28, 2012 at 8:11 am

First of all, your point about respect is good. Women can leverage their looks to get it, but just being pretty isn’t enough. Sometimes, it’s a hindrance: being gorgeous makes it hard for a woman to be treated fairly. I’ve removed the sentence you’re referring to and will give this controversial topic the attention it deserves in a separate post.

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liz June 28, 2012 at 4:58 pm

There are also studies that show that men lie more than women http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8689010.stm
And the article you linked has a very misleading title. It goes on to say that men do cheat more than women. Women are cheating more now than ever, and they lie about it better, but men do it more. From the article: According to Dr David Holmes, a psychologist at Manchester Metropolitan University, women are having more affairs than ever – recent studies say the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a bit over 15 per cent for women – but they behave very differently from men when they cheat.

Still all good advice in your article though.

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George P.H. June 28, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Thanks for your post and the link. In truth, there are numerous conflicting studies on the subject. At this point, writing a full reply that takes all of them into consideration is far beyond the scope of the comment section.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter who lies more. I initially included the sentence to emphasize the importance of honesty and respect for men *in particular*. Now, I’ve removed it because it was distracting everyone from the rest of the post. I have, however, kept the comments and will come back to the subject in a separate post (or post series) soon.

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Nikolai June 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Hey George
I like this. I have been following your blog for some months now.
You write it simple and right straight away. Like Einstein said: You have to make things as simple as possible, but no more simpler than that.
Happy to see that you write again! In which city do you live?
All the best
Николай

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George P.H. June 28, 2012 at 8:02 am

Hey, Nikolai!

Thanks for following. Your quote reminds me of something Antoine St. Exupery said:
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to subtract.

To hear you say that about my writing is high praise to me; thank you :) .

(I’ve been living in Moscow, Russia for the past 4 years!)

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Nikolai July 2, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Hey George!

Thanks for your answer
I hope to see you one day, when I visit Moscow

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Matt June 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

This was my response to a comment on Reddit about the “Be Successful” tip. At the request of George, I am posting it here:

“I actually like this one. First off, I don’t believe in luck, and I feel that “lucky” people make their own luck by want, determination, and seizing opportunities that present themselves. Mind you, these opportunities often come as failures. Some anecdotes:
I have a friend who worked through college selling knives for company X. This kid partied his ass off, but when it was time to work, he wouldn’t let anyone outwork him. After a few summers, the company trusted him enough to start small start ups in Puetro Rico (we’re from the southeastern US) by himself over the summers. He told me how down in the dumps he got while being alone and being the manager of a business at 20 years old in a foreign country and was still expected to succeed. He did. He woke up every morning, went to work, interviewed and trained people, etc. He is currently in NYC at a very selective internship.

My roommate my sophomore year in college worked with the Help Haiti group and worked full time as a cath-lab tech at the local hospital all while going to school full time (and partying until 4 am when he started work two hours later). He volunteered for an opportunity to go to Haiti, by himself, to help with various medical things down there. Like the guy in Anecdote 1, he got very down at times, but managed to get through. Unlike number 1, he did not speak the language down there. In his spare time, he learned some Creole. Oh, and he helped bury dead bodies. He just graduated with me, and I have no doubt that he will be successful.

When I was a senior in high school, I was among the top of my graduating class and a state championship quality wrestler. I could not win the big matches because I was a head-case though. After I finished that season and graduated, I vowed to never let my mind keep me from succeeding as best as I could. In four years, I graduated as the top student in the Mechanical Engineering curriculum with a minor in mathematics at a top-75 school (while paying for it myself) while coaching high school wrestling and programming on the side for a national laboratory. I now make what than the average US family makes at 22 years old.

My point is that being successful is about wanting to be successful and keeping your priorities in line. People fail, that is fact. It is what you do after the failure that determines how far you will go.”

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John Robie June 30, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I think these factors apply to women deserving of respect as well. Easy enough to find girls who have nothing going on for them besides their good looks, but a woman who has integrity, is true to herself, ignores the peanut gallery, respects herself, accomplishes the exceptional and treats everyone with respect… Now we’re talking.

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Randy July 4, 2012 at 9:19 am

This was a really great guide. It was simple and to the point.

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George P.H. July 5, 2012 at 6:49 am

Thanks, man!

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Frank D July 12, 2012 at 4:12 pm

So applicable and so well-timed!
I don’t think I’ve ever read “Self-Respect” put in such a simple yet powerful way!!

One thing I’d like to add though, that is desperately missing in today’s world…
If you are a married man, and/or a family man, TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY!!!
As my mentor Jim Rohn said, everyone talks about having a great Business, Being Successful, Having Great Health, Great freiendships etc, but not enough of us talk about
HAVING A GREAT FAMILY!!!
SO point number 7 is:
TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY!!!
Thanks!!!

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George P.H. July 18, 2012 at 9:07 am

This is 100% true; I’m a strong believer in family values and I’m happy you brought this up. Taking care of your family is obligatory – kinda like the Godfather quote, “A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.”

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Two Of Us Dating Service July 12, 2012 at 5:04 pm

There are two of these that really stuck out to me. The first is always keep your word. This one is kept by very few people in this world. You will set yourself apart by simply following this rule. Be careful because if you are not willing to do something let everyone else know because you have to keep your word. The other rule is to stop caring about what other people think. No matter what you do some people will like it and some people will not. Do what you have to do without hurting other people and people will respect you.

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George P.H. July 20, 2012 at 8:26 am

Other people will always try to tear you down, that’s just part of human nature. If you have an inner sense of what’s right and wrong – and this includes keeping your word – there’s no point in dwelling on what everyone else says. Thanks for dropping in, Phil :) .

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JohnG August 29, 2012 at 8:56 am

A great post! And the crystal clear language through which its ideas are expressed makes it even better. Thank you!

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