If you’re a man, you have to agree there’s something magical about women. Like a beautiful sunset, a snow-capped mountain or a gorgeous painting, the right girl will make you lose your breath.
It’s all too easy to get overwhelmed by this feminine beauty, whether internal or external. When this happens, men put women on pedestals and treat them like objects of admiration instead of real people.
In my case, it took some rough wake-up calls to realize that girls are, more or less, just like us. When I finally “got it,” girls started hitting on me a lot more often; my relationships with girls improved tremendously.
I’d like the same change to happen for you. To make that happen, here are 5 reasons to stop putting women on pedestals.
1. This Just In: Women Are Human!
Imagine you’re on a date with a girl who ignores everything you say and just keeps complimenting your looks. No matter how amazing or into you she is, you’ll be creeped out since she likes you superficially and doesn’t care about the real you.
This is how girls feel about guys who place them on pedestals.
Yes, women are amazing. They look beautiful and being around them feels beautiful. But when you admire them instead of communicating person-to-person, they can tell you’re being shallow and fake from a mile away.
Admiring the opposite sex is one of my favorite pastimes, but remember that women are people – not objects to be admired!
2. The Madonna-Whore Complex Will Screw You Up
The Madonna-Whore complex is when you view all women as “either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitute-like personalities.” (My buddy Rami of Gutsy Geek has a great post about this right here.)
Now back to the topic at hand.
When a man puts a woman on a pedestal, he’s also elevating her to Madonna status. He’s attracted to an imagined “purity,” and ignores her sexuality. This is why guys find it hard to make a move on “that one special girl”; their mind tells them she’s not a sexual being.
This is the kiss of death for any relationship. If you put a girl on a pedestal to the point where you can’t be sexual with her, you’ll never have her. And even if you do get her, the relationship will leave both of you unsatisfied sexually.
3. They Don’t Want To Be Above You
Men who put women on pedestals are always trying to win them over. They turn pleasing the girl into their #1 priority; friends, hobbies and work come second.
The ironic thing is, no woman wants to be the biggest part of her guy’s life. If you don’t believe me, look at Twilight – the franchise every girl seems to be crazy about.
Does Bella fall for Jacob, the guy who’s ready to do anything for her? Hell no! She goes for the dude who always has something else to do and is outwardly unsure whether he wants her or not.
Learn from this and remember that there’s more to life than girls. Don’t turn them into a #1 priority; nobody wants that.
4. They’re Far From Perfect
Both sexes have their own screw ups; overall, we balance each other out. But as a man, you might get distracted by a girl’s beauty and feminine energy and forget this.
My big wake-up call was seeing two girls, best friends for over a decade, fight over me. It was a random event that could happen to anyone, but it was way outside my reality at the time.
Afterwards, I knew girls weren’t the pony-loving, rainbow-riding, lavender-water-peeing angels I thought they were. They were human and capable of mistakes. Remember the same thing and you’ll do well.
5. Because You’re #1!
To quote Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
If you think you’re a great person who deserves the best from life, you’re right.
If you think you’re a horrible person who deserves nothing, you’re right.
If you put women on pedestals and think they’re better than you, you’re right.
Life will simply give you whatever you believe you deserve! So if you put women on pedestals, you’re giving away your own power. Why would you do that?
This is your life: it’s your movie and you’re the star. The only person you should be putting on a pedestal is yourself.
I love women; if you’re a straight man, it’s hard not to. But as beautiful and amazing as they are, they’re no better or worse than us. We need them; they need us; why place anyone on a pedestal when we can all have fun being equal?
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Good blog.
Here’s a funny guy I found while looking up this subject. Same message, but with attempt at humor
“Don’t Man Up”
http://www.simplesite.com/Redpill2/108781246
Interesting link, thanks for sharing!
Great article George, when guys realize that women are just human they will stop making alot of the mistakes that prevent them from attracting women. When I personally realized that, it transformed my interactions with women
I agree; things aren’t all that hard if you choose to make them easy. Cool that we came to the same conclusions on that
.
Well, men have been hogging the pedestal for themselves for millenia, they resent having recently been pushed off it by women!
That’s an interesting angle, but two wrongs definitely don’t make a right
. Speaking for myself, I don’t resent having been pushed off anything – I just want a level playing field for everyone.
How about enlarging the pedestal so that both men and women can stand on it, then?
Sounds good to me
I agree with the article except for # 3. There are women out there who wants to be first in their man’s life. As a woman myself, I would hate for my man to put his friends and hobbies before me. I wouldn’t feel like he cares about me. Most women do not like being second best at anything. They want to know that they are special in their man’s eyes. I personally believe that women who do not like being placed first is either retarded, or has a mental disorder. That’s my opinion.
Hey, Marryanne, and thank you for your opinion. I wonder if you really think your man should put you above his own wants, his personal success, etc? Would you still be attracted to your man if he sacrificed everything to make you happy? I’m genuinely interested, because I’ve only met a few women who felt this way in my life.
I am neither retarded nor do I have a mental disorder, quite the contrary. On the other hand, my husband and I are equals, committed to each other, mutually supportive, and we give each other all the space and we need for carrying out those activities that we choose and in which we flourish. We are not so insecure and needy that we need to be number one for the other, we are secure and happy in our relationship. We respect each other, something that we couldn’t do if we demanded and expected at all costs to be number one in the other’s priorities. Such demands are those of the insecure, needy, selfish and immature, of those who live in a “ME ME ME” mindset instead of a balanced and healthy “WE” mindset.